This is My America

(Reflections on Empathy and Belonging - not Politics.)

Back on March 20 of this year, waiting in line at CVS for my turn at the pharmacy. Coming my way to stand behind me: a lovely young couple, he in a suit and she in the most lovely saree. In my overalls and t-shirt, I feel plain in comparison.I remember: It’s Eid-Ul-Fitr, which takes place at the end of Ramadan, the Muslim holy month of fasting.

I turn to the woman and say what’s on my mind (I do tend to blurt things out sometimes): “You look so beautiful.”

Her face lights up and she thanks me. The three of us strike up a short conversation while waiting for our prescriptions -about fasting, about Ramadan, and how challenging it is - no water, no coffee! - and also the joy of not knowing you are not doing it alone. Your family is fasting, your community is fasting. Also joyous: when it’s over. Much to celebrate!

I mention how my community (Reform Judaism) gets the power of the fast, but that we only do it for 24 hours. Very efficient. They laugh at my joke.

We wish each other a wonderful day and part ways.

I feel richer for having spoken with them, shared with them. No one tried to change anyone’s mind. No one judged.

This is my America.

Two years ago. I’m at an Interfaith Thanksgiving Service in a church. Music from our respective choirs and musicians will fill the hall.  The pastor says “for my Muslim friends, there is a room down the hall that faces Qibla . Feel free to use the room, and we will wait for you. Please know that we are all here to give thanks in our own way and share our ways with each other.”

This is my America.

Ten years ago. I am in an intensive week-long session to become a trainer and facilitator for the ADL (Anti-Defamation League). The goals? Fight Antisemitism, yes, but also Combat Extremism, Disrupt Online Hate and Harassment, and Challenge Bias. For ALL.

Given the mission to “make the comfortable uncomfortable” and vice versa, we trainees talk freely about our experiences and emotions as Blacks, Jews, Trans, Gay, Muslim, Mixed Race, and more. We talk about weight, religion, ageism, gender stigma, and being an Ally.

This is my America.

Sharing Stories of Immigration, Homelessness, Grief, Illness, Loss…and Resilience.

In my work as an actor, Public Radio Broadcaster, speaker, podcaster  and advocate (my son has an SMI - Severe Mental Illness), I am so lucky to be doing work where what we have in common is so much more important that what separates us. 

I recently moderated another “Tragedy to Triumph” panel, where we heard stories of refugee survival, immigration, homelessness, grief, loss. And resilience.

In my podcast with WSHU Public Radio (NPR affiliate), Good at Heart, I have the privilege of interviewing people who “quietly make the world better.” This has included, so far, librarians, teachers, police officers, prison educators, bookshop owners, volunteers, and more. 

At the heart of all the good they do, is empathy.

This, too, is my America.

We are still here.

So many of us.

What makes the news is not all we are. Americans are also curious, helpful, interested in fair debate, willing to change their minds, to forgive. And to laugh. Yes, to laugh together. 

To hold onto hope, to remember that we are still a country capable of peaceful protest, respected justice, people who embrace individuality and differences without having to judge or hate, and folks who just plain want to help…this is our America.

Let’s shine the light.